It’s pollen time in Atlanta. You don’t think that’s real, do you? It’s real sister. It’s real.
I have taken to my bed with my heavy red eyes and my medicinal glass of wine and my computer, all just to bring you some fun for your weekend.
- Remember the coloring books I bought last weekend? Well, they’re going to make me live longer. If I’m going to live that much longer, I’m going to have to move to Arizona in the springtime.
- If I moved to Arizona, did you know that I’d be trading pollen for the Arizona haboob which has a much cooler name and makes for much cooler videos? According to the article, haboob is an Arabic word meaning “intense summer dust storm”, which is similar to saying that pollen is a southern word meaning “yellow dust pollen on my car”.
- How about Japan? Should I just move there? If I do, I need to prepare myself for the latest trend: Dads jumping beside their daughters.
- I guess I’ll just stay here in bed with my now empty glass of medicinal wine and find out: Am I On Fleek? Answer: Are you kidding me bae? 12 outta 12! I’m totally on fleek! Yolo!
- And finally, here’s a message from all your best friends on Facebook.
You guys have the best weekend ever. I’ll be at the Atlanta Dogwood Festival watching super cute dogs run and catch things and generally swish about and meanwhile, I’ll pretty much be feeling like this.
P.S. You thought there wasn’t going to be a video? There’s always a video! This is what I’m doing right now while you’re reading this.